vagisodium:

he sank the boat he was working on just to kill the captain
fangdecay:

captainamericaisavirgin:

benmclemore:

somebody DO SOMETHING

i’ve added this before but this is the most important story that i have
this was published in the vancouver sun like 2 years ago, and i remember reading the paper after class while my sister was watching tv or something, and i burst out laughing when i read the headline. and so im tell her to look, and show her the article and she says “what’s a rim job” and my dad looked up at me and we held eye contact for like. a whole minute and we just had a terrible moment where he knew that i knew what a rim job was, and i knew that he knew what a rim job was and now that’s a reality that we have to face together

that commentary was beautiful

kismaayo:

job interviewer: so…tell me a little about yourself :)
me: sure. i’m a virgo, INTJ, i love tank tops oh my god did you see the Anaconda video? that changed my life!
interviewer: bitch me too! the fuck. you got the job

(via preppycheerleader)

harrytomlomsom:

a nightclub called The Mullet where you have to walk through an office to get to the bar

(via silumia)

konanyiffer420:

HOYL FUCK

hula-chili-soup:

is your heart supposed to pound for ten minutes straight after you answer one question in class

(via jeszing)

greelin:

cyberuser:

i remember when i was 5 i used to take dancing lessons and there was this kid in 7th grade who’d make fun of me and call me “gay” but the jokes on him because i gave his younger cousin a handjob at camp so who’s gay now

i think you’re still technically gay

(Source: 1vm, via christianmingle)